Friday, July 25, 2014

Jesus, Take The Wheel

This being, of course, the only Carrie Underwood song I can think of.  Which is fine, because who gives a shit about Carrie Underwood and besides, it's really all by way of asking if you saw Lewis Hamilton's brake failure and resultant 110 mph shunt at Hockenheim last week.

Not much of a video.  But I have to ask, do you think that voice is computer-generated?  I've never heard a flatter voice-over in my life.  Makes HAL 9000 sound like Morgan Freeman ...

I love the way that spaceship looks.  Like a friendly puppy or something.

Anyway, if you were watching the crash from Lewis' on-board camera you could see him fighting with the car and then, when he knew impact was unavoidable, release the wheel and gently cradle his head in his hands.  Just like Ms. Underwood sings it.

Isn't this the point where you typically cut and paste the lyrics to the song here?
Yes it is.
Country music isn't my thing, really.
I hear you, brother.

FYI, one releases the steering wheel of a racing car because there is considerable risk, if you don't, of having your thumbs ripped off when the wheel reacts to the huge force of impact by twisting violently.  Or something just as unpleasant, although I'm having a hard time thinking of anything more unpleasant than having your thumbs ripped off.

Dude.  Something worse than that happens in almost every episode of Game of Thrones.
Good point.  That Ramsey Snow's a walking freak show, isn't he?
Yes he is.

Hamilton was ostensibly unhurt, went on to drive a race spectacular enough to make me start liking him except for the fact that that will totally never happen (because he's a whinger and there's no place for whinging in racing), and came in third.  Which was annoying.  Word now comes forth from Hungary, site of this week's race, that he has undergone significant physical therapy this past week.

Me?  I certainly don't wish the man ill health.  But if an ache or two, here or there slows him down a bit that would be lovely.  Perhaps he could miss a race or two.

And this as a closing thought:  How prescient was my boy Fernando Alonso when, a couple of years ago, he was asked how good a driver Sebastian Vettel is.  His response was something along the lines of "Let's see how well he handles a non-competitive car."  And now we know the answer to that.  Badly, as it turns out.  His teammate is handing him his hat!  And, some rumors suggest, shitting in it prior to doing so.

Vettel, it should be noted, won his four consecutive Drivers' Championships driving a car that was so vastly superior to its competition that I, were I able to fit my fat ass into the thing, could probably have placed in the mid-field points positions on a regular basis.  Once I learned how to operate the steering wheel.


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