Friday, November 19, 2010

Baiting my hook for Leviathan yet again

I had my able assistant type all 100+ email addresses of the newly-minted partners at Goldman Sachs into a folder. I will now send them a letter offering them a significant discount on one particular painting. The email reads:
Every year, starting now, I offer newly-named Goldman Sachs partners a significant discount on one of my paintings. It is my way of giving back to the community.

This year it is a preparatory work for a large-scale portrait of Marcus Goldman. Titled "Study for Marcus Goldman", acrylic on canvas, it measures roughly 54" by 36", is executed in the representational drip style I am known for and is signed on the back. I have attached a file for your review.

Even at its relatively modest size it is a monumental work. And, unlike many of my paintings (which are covered with angry screeds from the general public), it remains pristine; untouched by human hands other than my own. Safe for work or home--which is an odd thing to have to say about a painting.

The work is priced at $24,000. I am offering it at $17,500 you and 109 or so of your colleagues.

If you are not familiar with my work, you can view all of my Wall Street paintings at

Thank you for your consideration.

"Every year, starting now..." is an amusing phrase. Kind of like "first annual". But hey, these guys aren't English majors. I'm sure it will be fine.

I'm less certain about the question of whether the Goldman Sachs computer (assuming they have one humongous one) will actually allow 100 or so identical emails, each with a file attached, through the perimeter. Or will they all be sent back? Rejected as spam. Or corned beef.

Because I understand that you don't get to be named partner at GS without being fairly committed to moving the needle, so to speak, I'm waiting til after the market closes today to avoid undue disruption. I mean, I don't want to turn the place on its ear--there's money to be made.
I thought so.
I wonder if something like that will utterly piss off senior management?
The thought of which makes my stomach itch a bit, given that I have something of an existing relationship.
Or will they even be aware of it?
Questions, questions.
I'm just gonna push the freaking button.
Nicely said. As John Paul Jones once uttered: "I've only just begun to fight."
Something like that.
Yes. Perhaps not an exact quote, but something like that.
So we'll see.

The painting, of course, is this:

Despite its relatively modest size, it's a monumental work.
Yes it is.
Push the button.
I'm scared.
Just push it.


Anonymous Lloyd Blankfein said...

I gotta say, man...this acid flashback stuff is..well..I dunno..I think the guys...I mean is that squid ink on the guy's head or what?....Uhm, I gotta get back to you on this one...Dimon's on the other line..wants to go bowling with me and Greenspan tomorrow night...Gotta make up a good excuse...

11:27 AM  

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