Here's my problem

Actually I have a long list of problems. One reader whose email address I didn't recognize recently wrote in saying:

You need serious help.

Really. That's it. Verbatim. Who would write such a thing? For the record, it came right on the heels of my post about vegans. But that's not the problem about which I write. In fact, I'm not even sure it's a problem at all. Because when they tell you you need serious help it means one of two things: A) you need serious help. 2) you must be onto something; otherwise they wouldn't be in such a lather. The smart money is on item 2.

But foremost on my mind, as we recount the problems I do actually have, is my seeming inability to have, in my possession, at any one time, three items critical for making my own breakfast. Those would be, of course:

A) milk
2) cereal
iii) coffee.

It seems easy enough on the face of it, but I just can't get the hang of it. And when I don't have these items (like right now, for instance), I have to leave the house in the morning and go to Dizzy's, where I sit outdoors under the canopy and eat the breakfast and drink the coffee they provide for a fee.

All of which, I suppose, is fine. Except that the sausage they serve has fennel in it. Which is okay to a degree, but after a while you feel like you're brushing your teeth with Tom's of Maine. Which I am.

Whoa!

None of this would necessarily be a problem except for the fact that I've upgraded my studio accommodations from the first-come-first-served general membership area to a semi-private room. Which is more expensive but better. These two concepts are, of course, related.

So, after tomorrow, no more eggs at Dizzy's.