LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!

I'm a big Britney Spears fan. Not because of her talent package. No. It's because I think she looks like the Statue of Liberty--at least in the nose/eyebrow area. That said, I'm not as emotionally connected as this poor girl.

In case you don't follow these things, B. Spears opened the MTV Video Music Awards with what is possibly the lamest performance in the history of a pretty lame show. At certain points she was staggering, she messed up her lip sync, and then, in the end, she stopped singing altogether (although her recorded soundtrack continued).

Thus, she's getting a lot of shit in the media. Liz Smith did have something nice to say, however. It went something like: "For a woman who's had two kids she looks fine. Just not bikini-on-stage fine." True, true.

I wonder what's behind the curtain. Maybe the nurse's station.