What, Really, Is Normal?

A couple of readers have suggested that recent postings were "weirder" than normal. To this I would say, first off: if you don't like it, get your own fucking blog.

Second, I would ask what, really, is normal? And is normal what we're really shooting for here? I mean, is this that thing for which people pay significant money to subscribe to The Year of Magical Painting? Is any of this even normal? Abnormal seems closer to the facts of the matter. I like the sentence better when it reads: "...recent postings were "weirder" than abnormal." I'm also trying to figure out how to weave the brain scene from Young Frankenstein in here, but am coming up a little short. Perhaps something along the lines of...

I'm a gifted writer. I could do something about that blog.
What blog?

Which isn't even from the brain scene. That's weird.

Still, one has to listen to the public. To the stinking masses, if you will. So from now on, I promise to be more normal. No more of that creeping through knotted jungle, slathered with lard, a knife clenched in my teeth. No more of those Greek Chorus questioning voices.

What? Those are the best part.

I thought so too. But the public has spoken and your ass is out the door.

That's not fair. They're idiots.

You're telling me? You don't know the half. Don't forget to stop by Human Resources for your exit interview.

And no more of that "It's four in the morning and I'd like to vomit but I'm afraid I'll bleed to death through my eyeballs" business. Too graphic.

I've also decided to start a new section, called--at least for now--Classic Posts. This is me, of course, dragging old posts back up to the front, just to remind of you of the good old days before things got weird.

For the record, I think it's the Vietnam stuff that's freaking everybody out.

Wait 'til I start telling you about pushing that howitzer up a muddy Korean ridge.