Food for thought

Because I like to include you, dear reader, for good or for bad, at what one might call the point of creation, the earliest moments during which some bit of complete nonsense pops into my head, passes through my brain and then comes out as a plan (witness The Nipple Initiative), I am here to inform you that I am officially in flirtation with the Food Network about painting a portrait using food products instead of paint during the course of one of their shows.

The guy from The Guardian (I think) once referred to me as a "stunt painter." Which makes my blood fucking boil, by the way. But now, look at me. Look at what I've become. Look how they messed with my boy!

Here's an excerpt from my email to the FN producer. It is preceded in the body of the email by what might be paraphrased as "blah, blah, blah, blah."

... But I have to believe the techniques I use with acrylic house paint can be adapted, to a degree, to media like ketchup, mustard, beet juice, maybe a little pesto and a nice cabernet.

I'd like to paint Barack Obama, but am flexible.

Additional blah, blah, blah ensues, followed by:

Sincerely, Geoff Raymond

I didn't want to burden the guy with a follow-up email but others who jumped to mind after hitting the send button, subject-wise, are Martha Stewart, whom I love, and ... drum roll ... Julia Childs, whom I also love.



I mean, who wouldn't want to paint her? In freaking ketchup?

Obviously nothing is firm yet, but I'll keep you posted.