The question, of course, is: How many nipples does Jim Cramer actually have?

To help you wrestle with the subject matter, dear reader, consider the painting below. All dialogue verbatim, as they used to say:



I don't mean to pick on Jim Cramer. But it's a question that goes back a million years. Who are these people and should I believe what they are telling me about the stock market? Sometimes it helps to see them naked.

Me? I'd have preferred to paint Sandra Smith (who is really hot), but that would have been unseemly. Yet we can paint naked men and everything is ok?

What has society come to.

First annotation to read: "I've got Lenny Dykstra so far up my ass all I can taste is spittin' tobacco." If you don't understand, ask me later.

Final disclaimer: I honestly think the painting looks better than it does in the photo. Please believe me.

Also, for those of you who follow my work closely, interesting background treatment. My hope is that beneath 300 annotations it will recede into something less zippy.