Monday, April 08, 2013

One's a rat. The other's a mouse studying to be a rat.

First, let me apologize if you took my Final Four predictions to your bookie and are now harboring negative thoughts.

Second, let me say that although I'm rooting for Michigan, the smart money says Louisville.  Me?  I keep waiting for the emotional backlash from the whole Kevin Ware broken leg incident to crash down on Louisville's head.  That's why I thought they'd lose the other night.  Maybe it'll happen tonight.  Maybe it never happens and Louisville wins going away.

Another reason for rooting for Michigan is that I loathe Rick Pitino.  He's right up there with P.J. Carlesimo and John Calipari.  Disciples, on some level, of Larry Brown, who's the worst of the bunch.  Never trust anybody with small feet, particularly if they're pigeon-toed.

I don't think that's a fair thing to say.
No, it probably isn't.  I apologize.

Anyway, none of them are that Rice guy from Rutgers, but he's approaching more of a Bobby Knight level of reprehensibility, and the less said about Bobby Knight the better.  And then there's that Rutgers assistant coach.  What a shit.  Jimmy Martelli.  What a miserable little piss-ant of a man.

What surprises me is that Rutgers seemed to expend a fair amount of good-will trying to protect Rice when he wasn't even a very good coach.
Surprising indeed.  It's not like he's Bobby Knight.
No, it isn't.  And I thought we agreed that the less said about Bobby Knight the better.
You said it, but we didn't agree.

Do you remember the famous Reggie Jackson quote about George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin?  There are several, but the best one goes, if memory serves, something like "One's a rat.  The other is a mouse studying to be a rat."

The thing to remember about college ball is that even though the kid you're coaching happens to be 6'9" and goes north of 270, he's still 19 years old and he likely doesn't have the coping skills of your typical sullen, coach-strangling NBA player.

Here's an only-slightly-related video.  Be sure to watch the end, though.

So you can't do what Rice did.  That rat.  And you particularly can't do what Martelli did.  The proverbial mouse studying to be a rat.  That miserable little piss-ant.

And may God bless Latrell Sprewell.  He was a wonderful Knick.  In a blog rife with subcutaneous invective and outright sarcasm, I say to you right here and now, dear reader, in absolute sincerity, that Latrell was a wonderful Knick.  And for that I wish him only the best.  

Choking that ass, Carlesimo, was just the icing on the cake.  


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