Sunday, August 11, 2013

Cleanliness is next to Godliness

I"m not even sure what that means, given our very skewed ideas about Godliness in this country.  But I was using a friend's new washing machine recently and I didn't care for the experience.

The machine is one of the exotic new front-loading types.  Not too exotic -- it came from Sears, not Miele or Krupps or one of those other companies that built the tanks that laid Belgium low -- but exotic enough for you to load the thing, push power, adjust the settings in a way that seemed analog but was really digital, and then wait for it to measure the size of the load before telling you how much soap to put in.

And the measuring was excruciating.  A little of this, a little of that.  Some mechanical humming.  Some turning of the drum, just to make sure everything had been measured properly.  Some more humming.  Finally, the instructions said to use level 2, which was marked on the side of the measuring cup that must have come with the machine.

What happens if you lose the cup?

Anyway, I felt better when you just stuffed your clothes in the top, evened out the load was well as you could, threw in a handful of powder and pushed start.  Now that, friends, was Godliness.  This machine strikes me more as the work of Satan.

Somebody should notify Glen Beck.  He tracks this stuff.


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