Sunday, October 27, 2013

field goal field goal field goal field goal field goal

Five field goals were enough to win the Eagles game.  Go Blue.  The Birds are now officially cooked.

At the same time, the Cowboys are self-destructing.  I would call your attention to Dez Bryant's cancerous outburst on the sidelines, not once but twice, during today's game.  Which they lost by one point!  Jeremy Shockey, an extremely talented player but an asshole, used to do this with the Giants all the time.  Because the Giants are a high-functioning franchise they got rid of him.  Dallas is the opposite of high-functioning, mostly because its owner insists on being the team's general manager.

And the Redskins?  Up by fourteen in the third quarter.  Then Denver put the squeeze on them big-time.

Picture this:  You're an ecotourist.  You're walking along a sandy path in the middle of the Costa Rican rain forest.  You're thinking Manomanoman, life is beautiful.  This -- bear with me now -- is the mindset of the Washington Redskins half way through the third quarter of the Broncos game.  Trippin' down the sandy path, looking for fun and feeling groovy.  Then you feel a strange sensation.  Something appears to have attached itself to your leg.  You look down and it's the biggest fucking snake in the world.  Seconds later you've been pulled into the jungle and the snake has wrapped itself around you.  Hmmm, you're thinking.  Hard to breath.  And every time you exhale, the snake tightens up a little.  Hmmm, you're thinking.  I can breathe out, but not in.  Getting harder to breathe.  It takes a while for you to fade, but nobody's in a hurry.  Somewhere in the back of your mind you can hear the Velvet Underground singing Sweet Jane.  Then you realize you are being eaten head-first.

The snake here is Peyton Manning and his Denver Broncos.  Implacable.  Resistance is futile.  Remain calm -- soon you'll be gone.

The Redskins will never come back from that.  Their season is over.  I didn't see the game, but I'd have loved to see Mike Shanahan's face at the end.

I see a smooth road for the Giants, straight to the playoffs.  Maybe to the Super Bowl.  Where they will be eaten, head-first, by the Denver Broncos.


Post a Comment

<< Home