Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Suicidal Ideation, Volume 79

Here's a particularly tempting item from the category of things you can kill yourself with ...

Hmmm.  A man plugging a motorcycle into a wall socket.  If you're having trouble piecing this all together, it's a Zero electric motorcycle.  I'm not sure which model, but they make four of them, each of which look like massive giggles.

The one I want is the Zero SR.  Which might also be written 0SR.  A mere $17 grand.  Zero to 60 in 3.3 seconds.  A range of up to 171 miles.  Plus, with no gas in the tank, you can put shit in there.

The miracle of the internet is that, for reasons not entirely clear in retrospect, I stopped by the Zero website a couple of months ago and poked around a bit.  Which is what I typically limit my motorcycle interaction to.   Peeking at them on the internet or standing next to parked ones (particularly those fucking Ducatis which, honestly, take my breath away) and whispering under my breath something like manomanoman seems like a better idea than getting on one and getting crushed by an 18 wheeler or, more likely, a housewife in a Honda Odyssey with three kids in the back, talking on the phone, making an illegal left turn.  Just as I'm coming down the road.

From heaven I can hear her telling the judge, "Your Honor, I swear it was a hands-free phone."  Like that makes it okay.

Anyway, now the internet, in its infinite wisdom, likes to pop Zero Motorcycle ads in my google search pages, etc.  On a related note, I'm a brief/boxer hybrid guy (I can't go full electric with my drawers) and was recently a little dissatisfied with my underwear experience.  So I clicked on a hi-tech underwear ad the other day.  Nice, albeit too expensive.  And now it's nothing but ads for electric motorcycles and twenty-five dollar boxers.  That's my life right now.


Blogger John Harbour said...

I have another toy for you... 140MPH and certain fun. Until you roll it of course. You get one, I'll get one, and we'll take them to Monaco for a bit of 2AM fun!

11:07 AM  

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