Sunday, January 27, 2008

Big Al

We used to call my father Big Al.

But in this case we are talking about Big Alan 1, or what might be referred to more accurately as "Big Alan (..."

And isn't that the question of the day?
We don't think that's the question of the day.
You don't?
No.
Then what is?
The question of the day is this: We know you've been painting the damned thing. When are we gonna see how it's coming?
Okay, that's a fair question. And the answer is a simple one. When I'm fucking done.

Which brings me back to the first question. But before we get to that, another: Does it bother you when I write words like "fucking" in the blog? Yes? No? I don't have to, but it does seem to crop up a lot.
Since when have you ever given a shit about what we think?
Maybe that's the question of the day.
Maybe so. But the point remains.
Okay. You're right. I don't give a shit what you think.
Then why bring it up?
I bring it up because it's part of the answer to the actual question of the day--that being: What is the full and complete name of the painting currently known as Big Al?

Here's what I'm leaning towards:
Big Alan (What Fucking Bubble?) I
What do you think?
Since when have you ever given a shit about what we think?
Never. But I am conducting a poll regarding the advisability of using a word like "fucking" as part of the painting's title. Yo--we're talking scrawled across the face of the fucking thing.
Do you have an alternative?
Of course I do. You think I'm crazy?
No comment. What's the alt?
Okay, you ready?
Breathless.
The alternative title is "Big (What Fucking Bubble?) Alan I"
That's your alternative?
Best one I could come up with.
Just switching the location of the parenthetical phrase? That's your alternative?
I'm a narrow thinker. I like a tight focus.
Okay.
Okay.
(looooong fucking pause)
Can I recommend one?
Sure. Knock yourself out.
How about: "Big Alan (What Freaking Bubble?) I"
Hmmm.
Or: "Big (What #@&%ing Bubble?) Alan I"
Both strong concepts.
Thank you.
You're thinking the location of the parenthetical phrase is not really crucial.
We are not.
I'm with you.
So what's it gonna be.
Dunno. Let me finish it first.
Is it going well?
Splendidly.

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