Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Dealbreaker weighs in...

As you may have seen, Dealbreaker ran a nice piece about my as-yet-unannotated Pandit painting. This would be it:

Say It To His (Jolly, Elfin') Face...

Picture 1219.png

Does anyone out there have anything they'd like to say to Vikram Pandit's face but have found it difficult to get past security at 399 Park? Perhaps you're a shareholder, upset about the stock price, or the Treasury Secretary, just feeling the need to remind the Citi CEO that you could've had his job and, and this is not a threat just a fact, could still have his job? You're in luck. Geoffrey Raymond, the greatest artist of our time, will be in front of the building today with his latest, The Annotated Citi. In the event you can't make it, let us know here what you'd say to VP, given the opportunity to get up in his grill, and Raymond will add it to the canvas. Interested in having Pandito all to yourself? Bidding starts at 30K.

Okay, I'm thinking. This is great...

Then I read the comments:


1 Posted by guest, Apr 27, 2009 9:33AM

Doesnt even look like VP...looks like the artist had the green apple splatters and just squatted over the canvas

2 Posted by guest, Apr 27, 2009 9:34AM

@1- are you familiar with any of geoffrey raymond's pieces? none of them look like the subject.

3 Posted by guest, Apr 27, 2009 9:35AM

@1- I know, right? No way I'm spending 30k on that thing.

-steve cohen

4 Posted by guest, Apr 27, 2009 9:41AM

@1 Stand back from the computer 5 ft, cover your dominant eye, squint with the remaining open's him, it really is.

5 Posted by guest, Apr 27, 2009 9:41AM

Reise, Reise Seemann Reise
Jeder tut's auf seine Weise

6 Posted by guest, Apr 27, 2009 9:41AM

And he can't even figure out where to put the dot.

7 Posted by guest, Apr 27, 2009 9:42AM

looks like harry potter has been getting into the bronzer

8 Posted by guest, Apr 27, 2009 9:43AM

Has he ever sold one of these things? God I hope not.

9 Posted by merkin capital partners, Apr 27, 2009 9:47AM

Vwat? Jou vwant paint me?

10 Posted by Anal_yst, Apr 27, 2009 10:15AM

Raymond has to have made some decent bank the past year/two with these suckers, way to capitalize on the (epic) failures of others, sir!

11 Posted by guest, Apr 27, 2009 11:07AM

I'd comment but my fucking ear is hurting like hell.

Vincent Van Gogh

Manomanoman, my first thought is that it's a good thing I'm not suicidal by nature because this is a tough crowd! My second thought is something along the lines of "What? Kill myself over the Dealbreaker commentariat? Not fucking likely. I mean, who gives a shit about a bunch of overcompensated math geeks? Hell, half these guys would still be wearing their pocket protector if the girl from Scores hadn't told them to ditch it."

Then I developed a strange fondness for Numbers 1, 2, 4, 5 and 11. And I appreciated Anal_yst rushing to my defense.

As far as the question of whether it looks like the guy, I sincerely think it does. Or at least it looks like what I think he looks like. Which, on one level, is the most important point. But on another, it's not even close to being the point. The comments, in this particular line of work, are the point. The comments are the mayonnaise. The painting? The painting is the artichoke. Which, as everybody knows, is just a vehicle for eating mayonnaise.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a painter. I've been wanting to paint the same elitist criminals who have destroyed this country, and for that matter the entire world's economy, and don't even get me started on the Bilderbergers and such who blame "the eaters," when if they themselves would stop eating so much there would be enough for everyone! Bunch of fat (literally) elitist pigs. And they think they're going to manage the New World? They are the very people who mismanaged the world's resources in the first place!

I haven't had time to paint, because following several years of dealing with cancer, my former husband passed away, and my children and I have had too much to deal with for leisure activities. But this too shall pass, and I will be painting the rolling heads of these elitist swine.

Meanwhile, I thank you for your Wall Street series. I hope you made a fortune selling those paintings. If I could afford it, I'd buy the Pandit painting. It is perfect. It looks like Pandit, and probably the comments you received were from his family members. Really, not kidding. I've had the displeasure of dating a member of this elite group and it is totally something they would do. The only difference between them and the lonely housewife that spends her days commenting online, is a trust fund.

I went in search of your painting of Pandit online because Citi has significantly damaged my family following the death of my former husband and kids' dad, and Citi has done the same to hundreds of thousands of others in similar situations.

Citi looks for ways to take advantage of their customers who find themselves in hardship situations. Citi advertises that they are there for their customers and offer programs to help in times of illness, death in the family, divorce, loss of a job... But as soon as you complete the hardship application for a loan payment deferral or any other consideration which they say they offer free of charge, they start systematically draining you of all financial resources and damaging your credit by reporting you as a high credit risk to the credit bureaus. Even if you have impeccable credit, as soon as you let Citi know that you've had a hardship that means a reduction or temporary loss of income, you're screwed.

The people at Citi giving the orders are nothing less than evil, and the people below them are nothing but "Nazi-collaborators" following orders when they know damn well that what they are perpetuating is unethical and illegal. Furthermore, now that the public knows what Citi has done and is doing, anyone who continues to bank with them should be ashamed of themselves - investing with Citi, or having a checking or savings account with them these days, is like kicking your neighbor in the face when he's down.

8:45 PM  

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