Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Where the hell's my tripod?

So it's all over except for, perhaps, the shouting. Or, rather, the continued varnishing.

Here's "Ophelia's Left Breast (Swart, K./Rt. Breast/05-11-09)" ...



Under the category of "You're-damned-if-you-do-and-damned-if-you-don't", if you allow the flash to ignite, the newly, almost-completely varnished surface of "Ophelia's Left Breast" explodes with overexposure. If you turn off the flash you get an image like the one here.



Where the hell's my tripod?

Anyway, that asked, it is worth saying that the idea of covering the surface of both the painting and the frame with a heavy level of clear coating is a good one. The darkness of the black is amplified, the otherworldliness of the image is underscored and the heretofore poorly-articulated concept of laminated art (as if anybody, including me, gives a shit about laminated art is certainly a question) is demonstrated with, if I do say so myself, a good bit of panache.

Pronounced pa-NASH, not PAN-ah-CHE.

I bring this up because the guy from ESPN Baseball Tonight--Jon Miller--insists on pronouncing Carlos Beltran's last name with the emphasis on the last syllable. This in the face of everybody in the world, as near as I can tell--including his broadcast-mates as well as Mets management and players--pronouncing it exactly oppositely.

This is either arrogance or ignorance. Being a practitioner of both, I can tell you, dear reader, that I have a keen appreciation for each. Likewise a high tolerance. So I don't know why it bugs me so much, but suffice to say this: for several days leading up to the ESPN telecast I actually dedicated precious moments of serious thinking to how Miller was going to pronounce my boy Carlos' name. Later, during the broadcast itself, I ground my teeth together. This will likely cause dental issues at a later date.

I mean, if I can force myself to relearn how to pronounce P. G. Wodehouse's last name (I grew up saying "WODE-house" when it is correctly pronounced "WOOD-house), this arrogant, overpaid asshole can learn to pronounce Carlos Beltran's last name. Did you see his yellow shirt? Fahhh! Don't even get me started on that.

Anyway, back to painting ...

Note to self: Never paint anything on plywood again.

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