The Annotated Nails

What's the point of doing what I do if you can't have fun every once in a while? I mean to say, the mantle I wear as the world's greatest living portraitist (Tier 2) weighs heavy on the shoulders sometimes. But who's to say a man can't just shuck the thing off; shirk this mortal coil, sorta; take a long sip of a 14.3 oz can of Guinness (with that little thing inside); and have a bit of a giggle? Rediscover, Pan-like, the forgotten boy within? Leave the serious shit til next week?

All of which brings me to this man:



Leonard "Nails" Dykstra. Former Met and steroid-swollen Phillie. Bogus stock picker for Jim Cramer's website. Noted Twizzler addict. Now accused--but not convicted, from what I've been reading (to paraphrase that ass Donald Trump)--felon.

Manomanoman, Lenny. What happened?

Brief personal aside: The urge to paint that ass, Donald Trump is palpable. Visceral.

Anyway, all this by way of announcing my upcoming portrait of Nails. I'm doing it as an exclusive to Dealbreaker.com, with the notion that only annotations submitted through that site will be inscribed on the painting.

Which sounds like good, clean fun.

Some thought was given to using this as the resource photo ...



... but it seemed mean-spirited. Plus, screw the Phillies. They're not getting any free publicity from me.

I will say this: Lenny was an important Met during one of those celestial moments in baseball history. So, even though he flew too close to the sun and his feathers came off (or whatever), attention--to quote the Bard--must be paid.

You think that's Shakespeare?
No--that was a gag. I'm going with Andrew Wyeth.
You mean Arthur Miller?
Hmmm. One of those two, certainly.
Nicely said. Hedge your bets.
Honk.

A couple of options for the title:

1--The Annotated Dykstra
2--The Annotated Nails
3--The Twizzled Dykstra
4--Dykstra, Nailed

Feel free to weigh in. I'm partial to #4. As regards the Trump painting, I'm definitely calling it "That Ass, Donald Trump". Not up for discussion.