Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Let the Piling On Commence ...

Beyonce singing the National Anthem has served up quite the national scandal.  Specifically, people are troubled that she was lip-syncing the song to a pre-recorded version ...

Me?  The lip-syncing/pre-recorded business doesn't bother me at all. What troubles me is that she agreed to such a lousy recording.  I thought she lost her way at about the 1:25 mark, when she pulled her ear monitor out.  The odd thing is, if the song wasn't being performed live, why'd she even have an ear monitor?  And then why'd she take it out?  And then why'd she massacre a good portion of the rest of the song?

I hope James Taylor was playing it live.  It seemed like it, but who knows.  Hell, even if he'd screwed it up, nobody would have cared.  It was like twenty degrees out there, so a man gets a break with the guitar playing and the singing.  Same break goes to Beyonce, if we're counting.

Very nice.  Who doesn't like James Taylor?  I saw him on Charlie Rose yesterday and he made passing mention to wanting to, but not actually, singing a different verse.  The one that goes ...

O beautiful for pilgrim feetWhose stern impassioned stressA thoroughfare of freedom beatAcross the wilderness!America! America!God mend thine every flaw,Confirm thy soul in self-control,Thy liberty in law!

First of all, the urge to sing "Confirm thy soul in gun-control" would have utterly overpowered me.  That's why they don't invite me to sing at things like this.  Second, those last two lines are quite wonderful, given the times we live in.

Confirm thy soul in self-control,Thy liberty in law!

I like the idea of liberty being confirmed in law.  I take this as a rare opportunity to join with Tony Scalia in suggesting that the vast majority, if not all, of the proposed gun-control legislation is both lovely and perfectly constitutional.  And if the Supreme Court says something is constitutional, it's constitutional.  Because that's how the Constitution works.

So, dear readers, you can exist in a state of liberty, as defined by the Constitution of the United States, and still not be able to buy fucking assault rifles.

So shut up.
You're referring, I assume, to District of Columbia v. Heller?
Yes.  What else would I be referring to?
You've studied this decision in depth?
Of course I have.  I assume everyone has.
Everyone probably has, with perhaps the exception of all those people who attend anti-gun-control rallies and hold up signs and chant about constitutionally-mandated liberties like folding stocks, high-capacity magazines and armor-piercing bullets.
Nicely said.  Probably everybody but those people.

And you're not allowed to shout "Fire" in a crowded movie theater either.  And you have to wear your God-damned seatbelt.  So suck it.


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