All Dialogue Guaranteed Verbatim (with apologies to Stan Mack)

Senior Vice President of Operations:  Deepwater Horizon just popped a gasket, we're leaking untold amounts of oil into the Gulf and we don't have the technology to stop it.  We're facing one of the biggest environmental calamities in the history of the world.

Tony Hayward:  Crikeys.  What's that gonna do to the stock price?