Friday, June 14, 2013

I've been thinking about LeBron James quite a bit these days ...

What right-thinking person hasn't, I suppose is the question.

I've been thinking that if basketball is the ballet of sport.  Which it is.  And, just as a brief aside, let me tell you that LeBron has excellent turn-out.  I've been thinking that for such a graceful man, LeBron's jump shot looks like shit.

Do you recognize this man?

I love the photo.  Looks like I painted it.

Anyway, it's Len "Truck" Robinson.  86th all-time in offensive rebounds.  Which, friends, is not chicken feed.  Horrible foul shooter though.  No grace.  Shot foul shots like a truck.  Hence, perhaps, the name.  

Foul shots should originate in the balls of the feet and unfold, rhythmically, upwards, like a pelican taking flight.  Perhaps not like that, but you get the point.  Maybe you don't get the point.  Doesn't matter.  I'm trying to envision the subset of the 13,000 TYOMP visitors this month for whom effectively shooting free-throws is a valuable skill.  I bet it's less than ten.

Me?  I use the Modified Winter method.  Which, if you come to Troy and give me a thousand dollars, I'll teach you.  Free tip:  I always start by leisurely tossing the ball in the air and letting it bounce once.  This gives you time to arrange your shorts so you're not in a bind.  Catch it, then bend over and bounce the ball quickly a second and third time.  With rhythm.  With purpose.  With malevolent intent.  This ain't no CBGB's, man.

You'll need to pay up to get the rest.  Toss in another grand and I'll teach you how to paint like me.  Believe me, the foul shooting is much harder.  

LeBron's jump-shooting stylings remind me a little of Truck Robinson.

Brief addendum:  Mozart thought music came out of the instruments and rose straight to Heaven.  Foul shots should be like that, if only conceptually.


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