Thursday, February 20, 2014

L - O - L - O, Lolo.

With apologies to The Kinks.

What's up with everybody piling on poor Lolo Jones?  She being the somewhat underperforming Summer Olympics hurdler who got the gig pushing USA Bobsled 3.  Some Olympic mens' bobsled wannabe malook named Chuck Berkeley was quoted the other day as saying he knew they would have placed better if the woman Jones beat out had been the pusher.  His tweet reading

Absolutely no doubt that @KatieEberling would have done better for USA3. Hope the marketing dollars were worth it.

First of all, how the hell does he know something like that?  Beware, friends, of people who appear to know stuff that is functionally unknowable.  Bill O'Reilly jumps to mind.  Why the White House granted him, of all people, an exclusive Super Bowl interview is just one of many questions that the Obama administration will have to answer for.  Also beware of knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers.  But that's a different story.

A couple of thoughts:

1 -- The reason it's called USA 3 is that it's not as fast as USA 1 and 2.  This designation was attached prior to Ms. Jones being selected.

2 -- Jones' team came in 11th.  Yet their start times for the four runs were all in the top ten, one as high as 4th.  The slowest being 8th.

3 -- The brakeman's job is to push the sled at the beginning then jump in.  After that, nothing.  You just sit there with your head tucked down.  Which is understandable from an aero perspective but which sucks for the participant.  I'd like to be able to hold my head up and see what the hell's going on.  So the teams' start times are the sole measurement of the brakeman's performance.

The truth of the matter is that the girl driving USA 3 was relatively inexperienced and put together four crappy runs.  I used to joke that my X-Wife thought the purpose of the curbs on the side of the road were to keep the cars on the tarmac.  Same thing.  The girl couldn't stop slamming into the side of the damned track.

Me?  I have no beef with Ms. Jones, although she seems like an undeserving lightening rod for the stuff.  And here's a picture of Ms. Eberling ...

Shout out to this Berkeley guy:  Shut the fuck up, you mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging malook.

I leave you with Pussy Riot's latest video ...

Girls -- don't quite the day job.


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