Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Good God Almighty! I'm a Republican

I was reading a post on my cousin's blog, Red Elephant, the other day titled, I think, "Republicans DOA on Healthcare Reform" and smiling in that smug, self-satisfied way that Democrats do while they witness the chaos engulfing the thing formerly known as the Grand Old Party (Ole? Grand Ole Party?) when I happened to cast my eyes on his bio.

It runs, in part, like this:

Allen’s family has deep Republican Party roots that include the second chairman of the Republican National Party, Henry Jarvis Raymond (appointed by President Abraham Lincoln), and a great, great grandfather, Darwin Rush James, who was a Republican Member of Congress from 1883-1887. He is the author of How To Rig An Election; Confessions of a Republican Operative, published by Simon & Schuster and has appeared on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Real Time with Bill Maher, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Hardball with Chris Mathews and Fox News, MSNBC, NPR’s Talk of the Nation among others.

Typographically speaking, I'm going with flush right as an obvious visual metaphor--if a metaphor can be visual--illustrating the man's political leaning.

Anyway, I couldn't help but clap my eyes on one Henry Jarvis Raymond. He, I'm told, being the second chairman of the Republican National Party. Oy, I'm thinking. Oy gevalt! What if it's in my blood! What if I'm some sort of latent 21st Century Cylon?

This, I can assure you, is the last time I'm listening to All Along the Watchtower.
That's not fair.
What's not fair?
The All Along the Watchtower joke. Do you honestly think even five percent of your readership is gonna get it?
Isn't that the fun of it?
No. I call it intellectual snobbery. Like the guy who wrote "Robespierre sends greetings" on your Blankfein painting.
"To punish the oppressors of humanity is clemency; to forgive them is barbarity."
You just can't help yourself, can you?
No. I'm an asshole.
That, my friend, is undeniable. Where'd you get that quote?
Wikipedia...
(Long pause as the Greek Chorus smiles in that smug, self-satisfied way that Democrats do while they witness the chaos engulfing the thing formerly known as the Grand Old Party)
Wikipedia? You have GOT to be kidding.
Okay, okay. Here's a better one: "Any institution which does not suppose the people good, and the magistrate corruptible, is evil."
Now THAT, my friend, is a quote.
Yes it is.
Now, can you explain the Watchtower joke?
Okay, but quickly. It turns out in the final season of Battlestar Galactica that there are four latent Cylons amongst the crew of Galactica, including the crew chief and the XO. Oy. Anyway, each of them thinks they are going nuts because they hear this strange music eminating from the hull of the ship. Finally, in their search to figure out what the hell is going on, they meet face to face in the bowels of the ship. At which point they realize they are not human.
And the song they are hearing is All Along the Watchtower?
Exactly. But a very weird version.
I can imagine.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

9:58 PM  

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