Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Further on this whole bank robbing business

Several posts ago I wrote: "Let's just say you rob the Bank of America on the corner of 23rd and 6th."

We live in a sensitive time, folks, and who knows what manner of humorless agents of some miscellaneous government agency are monitoring this very blog?  With growing suspicion?  With half an eye on arresting me for conspiracy to disrupt massive, government-sponsored gambling rings?  Or some other felonious rap?  Which would be a great stage name if you were playing just the right sort of music.  Felonious Rap.  Which rings nicely not just of Thelonious Monk but also of H. Rap Brown (also known as Hubert Gerold Brown; also known as Jamil Abdullah Al-Amin).

Anyway, I'm just here to tell you that there is no Bank of America branch at 23rd Street and 6th Avenue.  There's a Citi and there's a Chase.

So I'm clean.  I'm not robbing anything.

If you move west one block, there's Chelsea Papaya.  Here you can buy two hot dogs with sauerkraut and a 16 oz papaya for less than five bucks.  I know from experience that in the exact amount of time it takes to eat all that stuff you can walk west on the south side of 23rd and arrive at the Clearview movieplex just as you're popping the last bit of dog in your mouth and making that noise that a straw makes as you suck the last papaya juice out of a 16 oz cup.

This is similar to the fact that the travel time between the Port Authority Bus Terminal and High Mount (or a phrase resembling High Mount -- who can tell in the country) on Route 28 in the Catskills is exactly the same time that's required to listen to Led Zeppelin One through Four.

The whole purpose of the bank robbing post was to make note of the role of cameras in our society.  About which, honestly, I'm fine.  I don't think people are coming for my guns either, just for the record.

In fact, I think it's an amazing and admirable bit of police work that less than 24 hours after the bombing of the Boston Marathon they'd tracked those two miserable little shits down and were exchanging fire.

Was it 24 hours?
I don't remember.  But it was an amazingly short period of time, all things considered.
Did you know that Thelonious Monk's middle name was Sphere?
No I did not.  Really?
Really.
Wow.  I'm of the school that says if you're gonna saddle a kid with a difficult first name like Thelonious then you should give him a more straightforward middle name like Robert or William.  So if he gets too much shit he can just start calling himself Bob.  
Nicely said.
Thank you.  Sphere, to my way of thinking, is a bit of a shot to the head.
A bit, yes.
Being a kid is hard enough without a weird name.
Yes it is.

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