Sunday, November 17, 2013

Vettel Wins USGP in a Snoozefest

I've been doing the rough math about why I'm glad I didn't go to Austin:
Tickets for 3 days             $450
Airfare                             $650
Three nights hotel             $900
Car rental                         $200
Meals & entertainment      $450
Strip club                       $2,500
"Vuck Fettel" t-shirt            $90
Total Saved                   $5,240
Not having to watch Sebastian Vettel smirk his way from start to finish?
Priceless.
The only possible downside:  It might be fun to actually meet a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, although that would require a more expensive ticket.  One could perhaps take a grand off the strip club expenses, apply it to the ticket and call it a wash, but that would require some careful thinking.  I mean, don't those girls all become strippers once their days on the squad are over?

One more thing in favor of going:  I wouldn't have had to watch the thing on television.  I eventually turned it off, but I put up with the horrible NBC commentators (the problem mostly being the play-by-play guy, Lee Diffy) for almost an hour -- enough time for two recurring themes in the telecast to emerge:

First, an overwhelming sense of neediness about the American audience liking Formula 1.  Shameless pleading along the lines of "like me ... please like me."  Which was pathetic.  Because begging is typically not the best way to get somebody to like you.

Second, nonstop prattle about how extraordinary Texas is.  This Great State of Texas business became obsolete a long time ago and is, I suppose, its own little version of the Formula 1 neediness argument.  Honestly, can you imagine a less interesting state than Texas?  Discounting, say, Oklahoma or Kansas.

As near as I can tell, the only two things at which Texas appears to lead the nation would be a) the number of inmates it executes every year (approximately 7.5 a year), and b) the number of governors painted by Geoffrey Raymond (1).

Thank God the Cowboys were in their bye week or there would have been no one in the stands but Europeans.


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