Friday, September 26, 2014

That Whole Books and their Covers Business

Me?  I've been blessed in many ways.  For purposes of this discussion I refer to what one might describe as my craggy good looks.  Looks that speak, perhaps, to a Daniel Craig/Pillsbury Doughboy fusion of a sort.  Demon spawn is a phrase that jumps to mind as well.  Regardless, I like to think it skews 60/40 to the Craig side.

Anyway, people look at me and tend to think (some do at least), "This extraordinary man is on the ball in every conceivable way.  Just look at him!"  And even though, fundamentally, I'm somewhere between a high-functioning knucklehead and an idiot savant, this frequently occurring misconception has made my life easier.

Eli Manning?  Not so much.  Let's be honest -- in the best of times he has a slightly bewildered expression.  His brother Peyton looks sharp; Eli looks sharp as a marble.

It's a problem.

All by way of saying, don't judge a book by its cover.  The popular thinking at the beginning of the season was that Eli was a slinger.  A talented one, but a guy who lived and died by the long ball.  A guy whose career took a nice turn when David Tyree managed to catch a long pass with his helmet.

The subtext of all this -- actually it wasn't a subtext at all; lots of people were saying it -- was that Eli wasn't "smart" enough to run a West Coast offense.  What does that even mean?  I personally find it offensive.

Let the record show Eli lit up the Redskins last night.  Granted they're not the Seahawks, but they're not chopped liver either.  Last week he completed a ten-yard pass in the left corner of the end zone that was an absolute marvel.  A month ago, Offensive Coordinator Ben McAdoo (I wonder how big his feet are with a name like that) predicted a 70% completion rate for the year.  Everybody laughed out loud.  I say let them laugh.  With 25% of the season in the books, Eli is over 70% in completions.  He's thrown one interception in the last two games, and that one was one of those unfortunate situations where the receiver fumbles the ball into the air and somebody else snags it.  Not Eli's fault.  Hell, I thought it was a touchdown.  Over the last two games I think Big Blue has settled nicely into the West Coast offense and it's reasonable to believe that they will get smoother as they continue to work out the kinks.

Bring on the fucking Eagles.  Who may be undefeated so far but haven't looked like world-beaters.  We'll see who's smart and who isn't.  And who look like they're not very smart but really are.  And who look smart but are really just easy on the eyes.  And other people too.

I think that last category fills out the picture nicely.
Thank you.  I didn't want to leave anybody out.
You're a nice person.
Sometimes yes I am.  
Somewhere in here there's a lesson about not taking political advice from famous people that work in the movies.
Yes there is.  Talk about high-functioning knuckleheads.


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