My troubles are many

When I saw that this week was going to feature perfect weather for al fresco exhibition of controversial paintings, I rued the absence of my much-talked-about Roger Ailes painting. Then I thought to myself: "How hard, really, would it be to bang out a picture of a bald man with a double chin and scary eyes?"

Then I came to my senses. Besides my mind is on other projects right now (although Ailes remains an excellent subject).

A portion of my mind is thinking about Vinny Testaverde. I'm one of those Jets fans who, even after all these years, doesn't give a shit about Chad Pennington. I admire him, sure. But sometimes I listen to my friend Lawrence wax rhapsodic about that numb-nuts of an Eagles QB Donovan McNabb. His eyes glaze over in adoration, like some kind of religious cult. That's what I'm looking for in a quarterback. A religious experience. And what do I get? Chad Pennington.

I wish we had Vinny back. Interesting last name--Testaverde. Sounds like a reproductive disease. As in: "Shit! My balls are green!"

You have to love the Italians.