Monday, July 19, 2010

Sturm und Drang in den Pyrenees

Ach du lieber!

What a day it was in the mountains for the T de France! At the worst possible time--2K from the top of Port du Bales, a huge honking mountain if you need more explanation; honestly you couldn't have picked a more disastrous moment--Andy Schleck popped his chain and Alberto Contador roared by him like a freight train. A tiny freight train, but still you get the picture.

Me? I'm of two schools of thought. One, because I'm a miserable worm of a man, says that if I were Contador (previously 3o seconds behind Schleck for the yellow jersey, now wearing it with ten seconds to spare, approximately) I'd have done the same thing.

Alternatively, I'm reminded of the time Lance Armstrong (not my favorite biker in the world, just for the record, although I don't loathe him) got his handlebar caught in the handbag of a spectator leaning over the course (think about that for a minute) and took a tumble. Then (and this, dear reader, is the worst part--you might not want to read any further), in his haste to clip his foot back on his pedal, doesn't quite do so and on his first big downward thrust, disengages once again, plummets forward and slams his crotch onto the crossbar.

Oy gevalt! Thank God he only had one testicle!

Anyway, one of my favorite boys, Jan Ulrich, then riding for Bianchi and the guy most likely to benefit by Armstrong's misfortune, signaled to the peloton that they should all slow down and wait. They did. Armstrong caught up. Ulrich lost the TdeF. To Lance.

Although I haven't taken as many performance enhancing drugs as Ulrich, my memory may be shaky on this one. But I think that's how it happened.
So you're saying the net net is that Contador, given that he was in position to slow everybody down and not just himself, should have pulled up?
Yes, that's what I'm saying. I guess.

What if it ended up costing him the race?

Naaaah. Contador is gonna crush Schleck in the individual time trial that comes after the mountains and win the race anyway.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.
Do you know what it's like?

No.

It's like when I'm caught up in a particularly complicated post for The Year of Magical Painting, Season Five and my mind races ahead faster than my fingers can type.

And you wait so your fingers can catch up?

Exactly.

Very sporting, but not even remotely the same thing.

No?

No.
And how about that Thomas Voeckler, national chamption of La Belle France, winning the stage? He may be my favorite rider.

Check this out:



My favorite all-time TdeF bike. Circa 1995, maybe. I love the polka dots on the chain stays and the course map painted on the main tube. Beautiful, beautiful machine. If I ever have another daughter I'm gonna name her Celeste.

1 Comments:

Blogger davidlefool said...

The chainless bike patent is going to make Ulrich a billionaire.

Ooh la la. Chateau Margaux c'est bon.

12:10 AM  

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