Sunday, October 05, 2014

This whole toasting business

Harbour from McManus writes this, in part, about Murray's Bagels, Chelsea, New York ...

They don’t allow you to have your bagel toasted here, which is how it should be; Pure, authentic. Toasted bagels have their place, but Murray’s is not one of them.

Although not part of the excerpt, he also suggests that Murray's makes the best bagels in town.  Which would, you would think, include by default the rest of the world provided you've never had the bagels from that little place in Waldwick, New Jersey.  I will say this:  they're damned good at Murray's.  Although Bagel World in Park Slope also makes an outstanding product too.

My favorite part of Murray's is that if, say, you're a little early for a noonish movie at the Chelsea Bow Tie Cinema (or whatever the hell they're calling that damned place these days) and you haven't had lunch, meaning you neglected to stop into Chelsea Papaya and order a #1 to go with papaya (particularly handy since it takes exactly the same amount of time to eat two hot dogs and drink the papaya as it does to walk, leisurely, to the Chelsea Bow Tie), you can buy your ticket then cruise around the corner to Murray's and purchase an everything with vegetable cream cheese, a slice of tomato, salt and pepper.

What is this with the long sentences?  Ulysses?

You then stuff the bagel in your pocket -- this is more of a 3-season strategy since it's hard to hide a huge bagel on your presence if you're wearing shorts, a t-shirt and flip-flops -- and return to the movie.

Even the best movie in the world is made better by an everything with vegetable cream cheese, a slice of tomato, salt and pepper.  But if the movie is mediocre -- perhaps something with guns and Bruce Willis -- then that's when the bagel really comes into its own.

As per the whole toasting business, the only time you should toast a bagel is if you're going to put butter on it.  And not too much.  If you put cream cheese on a toasted bagel, the heat of the bagel turns the cream cheese into a soup-like consistency and when you bite into the front side of the thing the liquified cream cheese squirts out the back.  Then you spend half the movie licking it off the front of your shirt.

Which is crazy.

Today's deep thought:  It would be some damned good clean fun to start a blog called Ulysses.com and have each post consist of one or two extraordinarily long sentences.


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