Cy Twombley!

It's Cy Twombley.

Here's his painting titled Leda and the Swan ...

The swan, just so we're clear, was Zeus in disguise.  Leda was, according to legend, smoking hot.  Zeus either seduces or rapes Leda (accounts vary, but from the look of the painting, I'm going with the latter), and one of their progeny is Helen.  Later of Troy!  So now we're operating on several levels, and that's always the best way.

It's more complicated than that, however, because Leda also slept with her husband, the king of Sparta, the same night she slept with Zeus.  And in addition to Helen, three other pink little babies -- Castor, Pollux and Clytemnestra -- showed up nine months later as well.  And there's a bit of controversy over who was fully human and who was half-man, half god.

And you think your life is complicated?