Friday, September 12, 2014

I gather all the news I need on the weather report.

I was going to title this something like "Could the NFL be any more fucked up?"  But I didn't because I wanted to throw a little attention to Simon & Garfunkel, since nobody buys their albums anymore.  Besides, who doesn't like that famous line by Paul Simon in a song he wrote about him breaking up with Artie?

Me?  I gather all the news I need on ESPN.  Which, let me tell you, is a slippery slope.  Nonetheless, Exhibit A ...

This, my friends, is a scary dude.  Turn that black paint into white and he's Uruk-hai.  Which, as noted moments earlier, is some scary shit.  Buttressing my point, his nickname is The Kraken, which actually sounds kind of Orc-y.

It's Greg Hardy of the Carolina Panthers.  What makes him newsworthy is that he's been convicted of assaulting his pregnant fiancee.  And threatening to kill her.  Convicted.  I'm all good with the innocent until proven guilty business, but this guy's been proven guilty.  Just because you're appealing a case doesn't mean you are considered not-guilty anymore.  Just the opposite, in fact.

Yet Carolina's suiting the guy up because, hey, quality defensive ends don't grow on trees.

But in addition to it being terrible for all the correct reasons, I'd also ask doesn't anybody at the Panthers front office turn on the television?  Read a newspaper?  Because in addition to being terrible, it also looks terrible.

I only mention this by way of saying that sometimes things can actually be terrible but look pretty good.  Rick Perry's a nice looking man.  There was a time I was drawn to Michelle Bachman in ways I'm not comfortably admitting on a public blog.  Likewise the Grizzly Mama.

Is there any way to delete that last paragraph?

No.  Here At The Year, once it's down on paper, it's down.
God.

Here are the full lyrics ...

Tom, get your plane right on time.
I know your part'll go fine.
Fly down to Mexico.
Da-n-da-da-n-da-n-da-da and here I am,
The only living boy in New York.

I get the news I need on the weather report.
I can gather all the news I need on the weather report.
Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile.
Da-n-da-da-n-da-da-n-da-da here I am
The only living boy in New York

Half of the time we're gone but we don't know where,
And we don't know where.

Here I am..........

Half of the time we're gone but we don't know where,
And we don't know where.

Tom, get your plane right on time.
I know you've been eager to fly now.
Hey let your honesty shine, shine, shine now 
Da-n-da-da-n-da-da-n-da-da
Like it shines on me
The only living boy in New York,
The only living boy in New York.


Michele Malkin actually used to be kind of hot until anger, spleen, bile, venom and what one can only describe as a general malevolence actually consumed her from within.  Actually consumed her from within.  I haven't seen her lately but I'm guessing that after you've been consumed from within you look like a dried plum.

Oh Jesus, let's not get started on the dried plums.
Okay.   We'll save it for another day.

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