Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Confidence ... it's what you carry

Have you seen the new Glock commercial?  Yes, that's what I just said.  Who knew?


Lets assess.

Plusses and minuses, certainly.  First, the good:  I love how she has a compartment in her purse to carry the thing.  Just in case, if you catch my drift.  Plus the Powerpoint-in-the-conference-room sequence was fun too.  In a mind-boggling sort of way.

The bad:  I don't like how they've engraved USA on the side of the thing (although the fact that they've done so is terrifyingly predictable).  For those of you not fully in the loop, a Glock is a German pistol.  They make Beemers in Tennessee, or something, but they don't stamp USA next to the 330i part.

The other bad part, I suppose, is that they're advertising pistols on television.

Getting back to the whole USA-stamp business, here's an excerpt from a classic post titled The New Year ...

The Remington Arms Company is one of the oldest companies in the country.  Founded in 1816.  Pretty old.  It is owned by a firearms conglomerate called The Freedom Group.  The Freedom Group is, in turn, owned by Cerberus Capital Management, a private equity firm.  But that's not the point.  The point is that somebody thinks "The Freedom Group" is a good name for a bunch of gun companies.  Can you imagine why they think it's a good idea?

Because they think we're a bunch of fucking idiots.  And there's substantial evidence to support their theory.

If you're of a mood, the whole thing is here.

On your behalf, dear reader, I just went on the Glock site to take a look around.  I wonder if I'm now on some kind of a list.


Blogger John Harbour said...

As a former HRT sniper I have to admit that I might have a new celebrity crush. Admittedly she’s not a celebrity, but man oh man, really? Not only is she hot, as emphasized by the pulling up of the jeans shot, and the close up of the mascara, but she has a choice of, not one, but TWO Glocks from the nightstand. Hold on…I’ve got to take a breath…not yet…give me a minute…go away, will ya!

Okay, I’m back. Really? You have a house that needs two?!!! Why? Because if your hubby (the one I’m thinking the other one belongs to) just happens to be out running to the 7-11 for some late night milk, he probably will have taken his? Or do some of your arguments end in a standoff? Cool. Got it.

But wait, there’s more. She is holding a meeting with the Glock under the desk. AND Yogo?! Mighty Zen there. Definitely an Alpha person I don’t want to f*ck with! And she’s now at the gym, oh lord, stop the perfection! No whistles or hubba hubba here. Not from me!

And THEN, three boxes of ammo?!!! Boy, you are NOT fooling around. YOU ARE SERIOUS.

A couple of points to note. As a professional I used to shoot six hours out of a twelve hour shift. 400 rounds. 300 to make perfect. 100 to go wild. EACH DAY. I live in NYC. And I do not have a gun in the house. Because until my wife is as proficient as me at weapon protection I can’t in good faith have one. Not shooting proficiency, or safety, but protection and retention. The biggest risk of having a gun in the house is losing control of that gun. Five pounds of downward pressure on a barrel of a pistol will rip it from your hands. Let that one sink in for a second… NEVER push a gun barrel up. Step, turn, and push the end down. Sorry, too technical...Back to the commercial.

I'm considering changing my life choices. This woman has got it going on. She's all that and then some, as confirmed by the gun bro who gives her the "what's up" nod. Who, she's probably thinking of using the gun on later.

Cool, take your accessory that kills people. Feel confident as you do your yoga and have your high tension office meeting. Just remember that using the gun is not a maybe proposition, if you point it at someone, it’s because you are going to pull the trigger, and from someone who has done so on more than one occasion, I hope you are on the winning end, and that afterwards you can deal with what you’ve done. They don’t show you that in the commercial. I’m sure it’s by design.

But man, is she hot. It must be the confidence.

7:51 PM  

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