Wednesday, June 11, 2014

I'm going to buy a Range Rover Evoque

Not really, but I'll get to that later.

So.  I set my television to tape Morning Joe this morning and have just finished the first hour.  Which is the only good part; the second hour is typically kind of a mish-mash, and the third hour is, as near as I can tell, a cleverly disguised repeat of the first hour.  I swear, I think they replay whole segments of the first hour while Joe and Mika and Willie drink coffee in the green room and play Jenga, then they come back at the end, as if no subterfuge had occurred, to say goodbye.

All that said, MJ remains one of the better talk television shows when political news hits, and I wanted to watch what they had to say about Dave Brat's if-not-historic-then-certainly-epic bitch-slapping of Eric Cantor.  Which -- one man's opinion -- couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

I remember a couple of years ago standing in the parking lot of Scott Stadium, on the grounds of the University of Virginia, drinking some beer and eating fried chicken and deviled eggs with friends, waiting for the right moment to put the beers down and take our seats for the game, when up drive a lot of black Escalades.  And out pops Eric Cantor -- the only time I've ever seen the man in the flesh before or since.

What a nice looking man.

Anyway, some friends of friends had wandered into the group moments previously and one of those guys launched into effusive praise of Mr. Cantor and his political stylings.  At which point, I wish I could remember the line, my friend Dave (who resides in Virginia's 7th District) silenced the man with a line so withering that the party dispersed shortly thereafter.

That's why Dave is my hero.

Anyway, since it's taped, I usually blow through the commercials on fast-forward.  But there's one commercial I always watch.  The Range Rover Evoque commercial in which the guy finds a scarf, lets his dog smell it, then follows the hound through the back streets of Rome, maybe, til the dog finally locates the woman who dropped it.

Best commercial ever, but not because of what they're selling.  Who the hell wants an Evoque?  Expensive, not tremendously reliable, and ugly beyond most people's ability to describe.  And I'm saying this to you, dear reader, as a former Range Rover owner.

But I can't take my eyes off that dog.  I love the way he keeps looking back to see if his idiot master in his overpriced SUV is keeping up.  What an animal!  And while the girl with the scarf is hot, I think in the end I'd rather have the dog.

Unrelated aside:  Towards the end of the first hour of Morning Joe, Campbell Brown made an appearance.  Grrrrr, says Irby, my imaginary dog.  For those of you with short memories, Campbell Brown once trashed me in prime time on CNN in such an irresponsible manner that, after complaining, I received a letter of apology from her producer that was clearly written by the CNN lawyer.

If you're motivated, type My Fight with CNN in the TYOMP search box.

Here's the related painting ...


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